Chastity Is For Lovers

“For some people, the chaste life can raise a daunting question — a question a friend and fellow blogger brought up once in an interview: “Do you ever worry that one day you’ll wake up and discover you are forty-five, still single, and past your sexual prime?”

I don’t. In order to worry about that, I would need to believe the purpose of sex is pleasure and that we all better get some while the gettin’ is good. I don’t believe either of those things. I believe that whether a person ever has sex isn’t that important. What’s more important is why a person has sex, and in what context. But because I don’t worry about passing my sexual prime doesn’t mean I don’t worry at all. I do worry sometimes, but what I worry about is whether I write about this stuff with enough clarity. If I don’t, and a couple of decades from now I’m still a virgin, I’d guess many people who’ve read what I’ve written will call my single life “proof” that the chaste lifestyle doesn’t work. But the goal of saving sex isn’t marriage. The goal of saving sex is saving sex (not putting it off, but redeeming it). Some people who save sex get married and some don’t.”

“I do not know yet if I am one of the people who will get married or who won’t. I do, however, know this: single forever or not, I am here to learn to love. How I learn – in part, for now, by not having sex – surprises most of the people I meet, which is funny for me, and weird. Some are captivated by my choice and others are scandalized. But my lifestyle is not a criticism of somebody else’s. It’s an option – something to try if an alternative to it isn’t working for you.”

Good Sunday reader,
Can you believe we are entering the fourth week of Advent? Christmas is almost here!! The post today is going to focus on an amazing book I just finished and assuredly will revisit time and time again. If you are intrigued by the above quotes from this book, I encourage you to read Chastity Is for Lovers: Single, Happy, and (Still) a Virgin by Arleen Spenceley. I’ll preface my remarks by saying my meager comments won’t do this book justice. Chastity is For Lovers is an integrative work about authentic love with engaging stories, infused with Catechism teachings, critical thinking interspersed throughout the entire book and so much more. Some might say, oh chastity, what a boring topic. I strongly disagree; this book goes deeper than just sex. We all have the desire to be unconditionally loved and valued for who we are rather than what we are. Arleen’s book is about true love, an easy, sensible read which offers advice rather than a judgmental attitude for all and encourages everyone no matter our sexual experience to practice the virtue of chastity. What’s even cooler about this book is you don’t have to be Catholic to like this read! Arleen reminds us the true purpose of sex which is unity and procreative purposes which is more than the world says is just pleasure or what’s in it for me. I recommend you read this masterpiece and share it with your friends. Let’s change our cultures perception of sex and live out the virtue of Chastity. Here is a final summation of the book in Arleen’s words along with the link to the book:
“This book is not about virginity pledges, abstinence rallies, or purity balls… It’s about a life of reckless abandon to a radical ‘homeless guy’ who is both human and divine. It’s about applying critical thought to social norms. It’s about living lives that make sense in light of the Gospel regardless of how much sense our lives make to the people we meet. It’s about acting on our needs for love and a Savior.”

My Book

Until next time,


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