The “Inside Out’s” if being single

Hi there reader,

I needed to take a break from writing a policy brief and studying for the social work licensure exam, so what better to do than blog even though I said I was taking a hiatus? Well, write it is. Smile

I’m sure you’ve heard of Pixar’s wildly popular “Inside out.” Not only is it a movie worth watching with kiddos, it opens up the conversation about emotions… A topic I dare say our society isn’t always comfortable discussing. I thought I’d write about something that’s been on my mind recently.

Lately I’ve seen lots of the typical summer posts on Facebook—swimming, family outings, vacations, trip pics and the happy announcements of new couples, engagements, weddings/marriages, which truly is lovely and good. I am so happy for my friends who have, or will be celebrating their weddings in the near future. What I said on Facebook was what I needed to remind myself; if it’s God’s will we will meet the one we were meant to marry. Although I enjoy seeing the posts and learning of these new statuses in others’ lives, it’s easy for me to fall down the rabbit hole of sadness, envy and loneliness. I am not wanting this to be a downer post, so I will just say I am so thankful for my friends who have patiently listened to me vent, cry and on those down days bemoan my still single status.

So I’m sure you are wondering what’s the correlation between Inside Out, a movie for Disney fans and being single? Well, I thought I’d write about the Inside Outs of being single.

Just as growing up for Riley isn’t easy, being single has its ups and downs. I find my emotions often guide how I feel regarding this topic, however, I also realize I need to add some logic and spiritual savviness to this recipe. Most days I feel content and trust God will work in my life if I only allow him, but I have my whiny bratty days when I want what I want. Here’s a peek inside my Headquarters:

Joy: This is my guiding emotion. It helps me remain grounded. It’s not the joy of temporary happiness; rather it’s a lasting feeling of knowing no matter what I want my heavenly Father has a better plan for my life than I can imagine. Most days I am joyful to see what He has in store for my life. Maybe its marriage or it might be being single, but no matter what state I end up in, I have to trust there is a greater plan. I have joy for greater things to come and will continue to pray for the desire which has been placed in my heart.

Fear: This is a difficult emotion; it’s scary to admit that it has residence in my Headquarters some days, but it does. I fear lots of things: rejection, being alone—the list goes on. Fear is a dangerous mixed bag. It’s cunning because when I invite fear into my mind it leads me down a path of related unproductive feelings. Here’s where fear can be motivating. When I fear being alone I remind myself I am never alone—we are never alone no matter what we are going through. We have to stay “in the fight till the final round.” The opposite of fear is unconditional love from the one who created us and knows us better than any human could.

Anger: This sneaky little beast sure can eat us alive. At times I am angry with myself because, well I come up with justifications why I am single, but thankfully logic usually wins those battles.

Disgust: This little bratty emotion at times makes me into a cynical jaded woman. When I hear those sappy love songs or read a lovey book that’s dripping sweet, I feel disgusted. On the other hand, some days I enjoy those sweet sentiments in books or music, so disgust doesn’t take up lots of my time.

Sadness: Fear and sadness like to accompany one another in my mind on those down days, however, I truly believe they are not from the one who loves us more than any human could or ever will. What I will say is its okay to be sad, angry, disgusted, joyful and fearful. What matters most of all is how long we stay in those places. What matters is how long we allow our emotions to guide our actions and thoughts. I pray no matter where you are on the Inside Out emotional spectrum, whether single, married, in a relationship, or engaged, we all remember what and who matters most. Keep on moving forward because one thing about life is we may not get out alive, but God willing we earn the prize of heaven and eternity with our Father. Thoughts? Feel free to comment.

Until next time,



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