Defining the relationship can be a tricky thing, but it doesn’t have to be hard. What are some of your preferred “do’s” and “don’t” with DTR’s? Who should ask to see where the relationship is going? When do you ask (3rd, 5th, 10th date?) How do you respond when you get an answer that you were hoping to avoid? How do you reassess your deal breakers and desired qualities? Do you re-consider your “nice-to-have’s” on your “list” of qualities you want in a guy? What else should we know for DTR’s? We all want to be well-equipped for dating this year


It’s that favorite time of the week!! Tuesday’s are for linking up with the lovely ladies of the Not Alone Series. Be sure to check out our hosts




Last year we wrote about qualities in our future husbands

After looking back at my list of qualities, I still hold fast to many of the items I listed. I want to purposefully date with the possibility of marriage, so this prompt ties nicely into previous entries. Since each relationship is so unique, I don’t think there’s a hard-fast rule to follow which says the right time to define a relationship. However, you don’t want to wait until your heart and mind are invested in a relationship which hasn’t been defined.

Since I have in the past had a tendency to wait for the guy to make the first step toward defining the relationship status, I’m curious to see how everyone else handles these types of situations. I’m sure we all are anxious when in a romantic relationship to find out where things stand. Here are some of my “do’s” and “don’ts.”

Do: formulate a friendship with the guy or go on a few dates before having the serious talk about the direction of the relationship

Don’t: if you have reached a point where clarification is needed, do not be fearful of making the first move to ask the question to define the relationship

Do: be aware of and prepare for the possibility of receiving the opposite answer of what you are expecting to hear when you have the DTR conversation, but do not take this as rejection. Honesty is best.

Don’t: rush to define the relationship in the early stages, especially when you both are in the friend zone or informally dating and first getting to know each other. This does not mean an exclusive dating relationship can’t or won’t eventually happen.

Do: feel comfortable asking for time to think and pray over your answer if you aren’t fully sure where you stand

Don’t: blame yourself or feel pressured to reciprocate thoughts or feelings if you were not the one to mention the dtr talk

What are your thoughts about dtr’s?

Until next time,



3 thoughts on “NAS: DTR’s

  1. Prayer! Yes! I am the worst Catholic girl; I always forget to pray about things. Sure, I can remember when I’m sitting in my regular weekly holy hour, but praying before I do something (and asking someone to pray *for* me) somehow never comes to mind. We Catholics have to saturate things in prayer, especially when this might be the early stages of preparing for a sacrament. Excellent advice, Anjie!

    Liked by 1 person

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