Let’s talk about problem-solving. Not just solving the problem of finding a husband, but how to approach the negative parts of a relationship. Conflict arises in every kind of relationship: romantic, familial, friendly, professional. The best defense is a good offense, so what are your tips for managing conflict? Are you non-confrontational, or do you have a fiery temper? How have you worked through problems in previous (or current) relationships? Have you learned to “fight fair”? Do you have advice for avoiding or working through conflict?
Happy Tuesday! Today’s entry is brought to you by another wonderful link-up with the NAS ladies. Check out our hosts:
As mentioned above, this prompt is quite applicable for any type of relationship, and learning ways to resolve conflicts is a skill which can avoid headaches in the future. First of all, let’s be mindful that conflict is not always a negative aspect of a relationship; life would be quite boring if we always agreed. Conflict also provides two people the opportunity to learn and grow closer through their differences.
Since relationships are based on commonalities and differences, it’s crucial to have tools to balance out and manage in a healthy way the turbulent times. Not only have I gained valuable skills through my social work courses and internship experiences, my aversion to conflict in past relationships have also been wise teachers.
- Assess the situation before emotionally reacting
- Remain centered and calm by eliminating stressors
- Since a large proportion of our communication is done nonverbally, be aware of the signals we are sending through facial gestures, posture and tone of voice.
- Use your words. I know it’s something I frequently had to remind K when she was a toddler, and it’s still true for adults. Words can deeply wound, so being aware of the words we use to express our distress or dislike are powerful.
- God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason. When in the middle of a conflict, although it’s difficult, take the time to actively listen and not just hear what the other person is saying.
- Come to a consensus rather than always having to be the victor of the conflict. As someone who can be hotheaded when it comes to topics I’m passionate about, I try to keep this in mind.
- All we need is love and forgiveness. It’s best to say our piece with love rather than in a loathsome tone. Not holding grudges and letting go of past hurts or wrongs can assist alleviating future conflicts.
- Just as with children we have to choose our battles, some arguments aren’t worth the energy or effort; agreeing to disagree is the better option.
- There is always room for prayer. I regularly fall short of this, but praying for the person whom you are in conflict with can bring some peace. When I grumble to my friend about a conflict, she wisely says to me “lay it at the feet of Jesus.”
Until next time,