NAS: Conflict Resolution

Let’s talk about problem-solving. Not just solving the problem of finding a husband, but how to approach the negative parts of a relationship. Conflict arises in every kind of relationship: romantic, familial, friendly, professional. The best defense is a good offense, so what are your tips for managing conflict? Are you non-confrontational, or do you have a fiery temper? How have you worked through problems in previous (or current) relationships? Have you learned to “fight fair”? Do you have advice for avoiding or working through conflict?

 

Happy Tuesday! Today’s entry is brought to you by another wonderful link-up with the NAS ladies. Check out our hosts:

Rachel

and

Lindsay

 

As mentioned above, this prompt is quite applicable for any type of relationship, and learning ways to resolve conflicts is a skill which can avoid headaches in the future. First of all, let’s be mindful that conflict is not always a negative aspect of a relationship; life would be quite boring if we always agreed. Conflict also provides two people the opportunity to learn and grow closer through their differences.

Since relationships are based on commonalities and differences, it’s crucial to have tools to balance out and manage in a healthy way the turbulent times. Not only have I gained valuable skills through my social work courses and internship experiences, my aversion to conflict in past relationships have also been wise teachers.

 

  • Assess the situation before emotionally reacting
  • Remain centered and calm by eliminating stressors
  • Since a large proportion of our communication is done nonverbally, be aware of the signals we are sending through facial gestures, posture and tone of voice.
  • Use your words. I know it’s something I frequently had to remind K when she was a toddler, and it’s still true for adults. Words can deeply wound, so being aware of the words we use to express our distress or dislike are powerful.
  • God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason. When in the middle of a conflict, although it’s difficult, take the time to actively listen and not just hear what the other person is saying.
  • Come to a consensus rather than always having to be the victor of the conflict. As someone who can be hotheaded when it comes to topics I’m passionate about, I try to keep this in mind.
  • All we need is love and forgiveness. It’s best to say our piece with love rather than in a loathsome tone. Not holding grudges and letting go of past hurts or wrongs can assist alleviating future conflicts.
  • Just as with children we have to choose our battles, some arguments aren’t worth the energy or effort; agreeing to disagree is the better option.
  • There is always room for prayer. I regularly fall short of this, but praying for the person whom you are in conflict with can bring some peace. When I grumble to my friend about a conflict, she wisely says to me “lay it at the feet of Jesus.”

Until next time,

Anjelina

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6 thoughts on “NAS: Conflict Resolution

  1. Love your mention of non-verbal ques! That’s such an important reminder when talking to people in person and actively listening. And I definitely agree that sometimes arguments aren’t worth it. Being able to let it go can be so hard, but so powerful. Great tips!

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  2. There’s that reminder again to pray. I’m working on it, I swear! I also like what you wrote about nonverbal communication. I send emails to my colleagues all day long, and sometimes I come off as frustrated when I’m not. (Then again, sometimes I *am* frustrated!)

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    1. Yes, I absolutely agree on the difficulty of electronic communication. As someone who listens to a speech synthesizer, I can at times get caught up in how the synthesizer says things and project that onto the center of an email. The struggle is real!! Let’s keep on praying!☺️🙏🏽

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  3. Great peacemaking blog. Thank you for these reminders to listen intensely and be insightful of our emotions and take time to reflect before reacting when others are emotionally being challenged. When we know we are being heard and our feeling are being felt by others, we can then communicate with love and trust and present the possibility for a peaceful resolution.

    Thank you for the reminder to forgive and pray for others. My daughter taught me also to put some people at the feet of Jesus for sometimes there is nothing we can do to make them change. They have to be the one to change.

    Last night, I was reading a book that started with a quote from Albert Schweitzer, who won the Noble Peace Prize in 1952 for reverence of life, and was about conflict resolution, “At this time, when violence clothed in life, dominates the world more cruelly than it ever has before, I still remain convinced that truth, love, peaceableness, meekness, and kindness are the violence which can master all other violence.”

    May peace be with you as you continue your meaningful blogs

    Liked by 1 person

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