Sitting with solitude

“We enter into solitude first of all to meet our Lord and to be with Him and Him alone. Only in the context of grace can we face our sin; only in the place of healing do we dare to show our wounds; only with a single-minded attention to Christ can we give up our clinging fears and face our own true nature. Solitude is a place where Christ remodels us in his own image and frees us from the victimizing compulsions of the world.” Henri J.M. Nouwen

 

Although it’s yet another sort of cloudy day, the potential for a terrific Thursday still exists. Lately I’ve felt quite disconnected from the blog world, social media and friends in general. When I feel this sense of isolation, I try to first distinguish whether it’s a bout of depression or is it something deeper? Fortunately, this time it hasn’t been depression which has me in the doldrums. As we heard a couple weeks ago in the Sunday Mass readings Jesus was in the desert for forty days and nights and was also tempted by Satan. I feel I’m in a spiritual solitary desert. I’m caught between who I am and who I am called to be. Do you find somedays are easier than others to live out your calling? I sure do. I feel Lent is the perfect time to grapple with these thoughts and feelings since it’s a time of detachment and increased dependence on God. Even though I feel life is in a holding pattern, I have to cling to the belief God is always along for the ride.

While at times I wonder where I’m headed on this journey called life, I know God has a greater good to bring about although I am currently completely blind to his overall plan. If you would, please keep me in your prayers; today I had an interview for a social worker position which would not only fill my need for employment, but I would greatly enjoy working with and being a part of the process to empower the customers who seek the agency’s services. I need to remind myself I did my best, and that’s all I can do. Thank you for your positive thoughts and prayers.

“Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,

Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:

Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,

High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

High King of Heaven, my victory won,

May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heav’n’s Sun!

Heart of my own heart, whate’er befall,

Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.”

If you are feeling a solitary sense of isolation, always remember where there is light darkness cannot prevail and God is always with us.

Until next time,

Anjelina

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